September 1, 2006

I feel so weird today. I'm completely numb. I have no feelings what so ever. I'm simply exsisting. I really don't know what the hell is wrong with me. This started yesterday after my Escort got hit while Steve was driving it for work. This is the third car in about a year that has been hit while he was delivering fucking pizzas. Not to mention that my beloved ZX2 is the only car I've ever had without visual defects. It used to have that new car smell (which is prolly my very fave smell) and now it smells like pizza and cardboard. I want to heave everytime I get in it. I know that Steve has to work and I know he needs a car to do it, but damn. Ya know? Why did his shitty ass Neon have to fall apart? Why did I have so sacrifice the only nice car I've ever had? This sucks.
Anyway, so I went to bed at like 10p last night, by myself. Usually I won't go to bed without Steve. I just wanted to be alone. I don't care about anything right now. I still want to be alone. I've given up on planning the wedding. I don't care where it is or how it is arranged or even who comes. Part of me doesn't even want to get married, when usually it's all I can think about. I'm not even mad at Steve but I feel like just moving into my own little apartment with my cats.
I also broke my phone last night. I was so pissed when I found out about my car that I grabbed a glass that was on the table and spiked it as if I scored the game winning touchdown and my cell was next. Glass was everywhere from the couch in the front room to the back door. You'll only understand if you've seen my house. My cell also has more peices that come part than I thought. It works, though I had to get out the super glue. Resiliant little bugger.
So, this wedding that I'm currently so excited for is a year from tomorrow. That must mean it's Labor Day weekend. I have absolutely no plans. Quite honestly, I'm sorta glad. I don't feel like seeing or talking to anyone. I just want to go home, go to bed and stay there till Tuesday.
Well, this is getting rather pathetic, so I'll stop now.
Maybe by next week, I'll have something interestng to write about.....