8 Weeks

We are well in to our eighth week now.  During week 7 we had an ultrasound and were able to see and hear the heartbeat.  It was truly amazing!  So far things are going very well.  I have had no morning sickness, though sometimes I get a little queasy on the evening. Nothing to really speak of though.  I have been a little (ok quite a bit) tired though.  The cramps have gone away and I actually seem to be peeing a little less then I was before.  Though I have become very tired of drinking water and have switched to Kool-Aid and Powerade in the past few days for a break.  I have been very good in not drinking any coffee or caffeinated beverages.  I have also had very little chocolate.  I have been reading all these books about what to expect and what is going on within my body and within the baby's body.  They are pretty interesting.  Steve seems to have become a little more interested, especically since the ultrasound.  He admitted to me around week 5-6 that he didn't want to think about it too much because there is such a long wait ahead of us.  I think once he is able to see and feel the baby move that he will be able to appreciate the actual pregnancy rather than it just being a waiting period. 

I have started to show a little and my clothes are getting more snug.  I had a dream last night that my belly was huge.  Part of me can't wait... the sane part of me is laughing at the part that can't wait!  :o)  There are photos below.

We went to see The Insyderz play in Southgate last Friday.  I always enjoy seeing and hearing them perform.  After the show Steve and I talked to Joe Yerke (the singer) for a little while.  We mentioned that we were pregnant and talked about what a blessing it was.  Steve revealed a little secret that he meant to tell me but just hadn't gotten to.  He said, "The whole time we were trying I'd pray that she'd get pregnant, but just recently I truly decided that I was ready for this and my prayer became much more sincere.  It was not long after that we found out she was pregnant".  This is a testament to how there is a time and a plan for everything which is set by God.  All that time we spent trying, all the hard times and bad days, none of them matter anymore.  It's almost like they never happened and I couldn't be more grateful for that.  My outlook on life has changed and I am just happy... when I'm not pissed off over nothing, that is ;o).

We (I) have decided on the name Ryan Thomas for a boy.  I decided when I was 10 that Ryan was my favorite name and if I ever had a boy that is what his name would be.  Thomas is my dad's middle name and mine is Thomasa, so that is where that came from.  For a girl, we both like Summer, but aren't set on it.  I also like Allison (Alli) or Alex.  Steve doesn't like Alex at all.  I like Allison Summer, but her initials would be ASK.  I don't think I want that!  I think that if it's a girl, we are going to have to sit down with one of those baby name books. 

All in all I am enjoying pregnancy so far.  My biggest annoyance is the question "So, how are you feeling?"  I get this ohhhh about twice per day on average.  I just say, "fine" and shrug most of the time.  One day, I think I am going to act like I am dry heaving immediately following the question just to see what the poor unsuspecting person does muahhahahah!  It's like even though that person just asked me 2 days ago how I feel that they expect me to be super ill or something all of a sudden.  All kidding aside, I really am thankful God has blessed me with a very easy pregnancy this far into my first trimester and I pray that it continues.

Well, that's about all I have for now, as though I haven't said enough, right?

7 week ultrasound

4 weeks (the day we found out)

8 weeks



Today is the day!

This morning I woke up on CD31 with no sign of Aunt Flo.  I decided to take a pregnancy test and much to my surprise it instantly turned positive.  I went out to the living room and told Steve "we're pregnant!".  He said "How do you know?".  I replied "the test is positive!"  He said "That is awesome!"  We hugged and I cried.  I still can't believe it!

This happened on a cycle where I had decided I wanted to take a break. There were no drugs involved, no "timing" involved, not even paying attention to what "day" it was.  None of it. We conceived the old fashioned way, on accident. I truly can't believe it.  It has not fully sunk in yet.  I pray, pray, pray everything goes well.  I am now at day 31 of 280.  I must have taken 20 pics of my belly "before" and the pregnancy tests.  This is a day I will never forget.  I'm going to be a MOM!

Femara Round 2

Well I am at CD 16 and though the OPKs were all negative, my temperature was up .2 degrees today.  I am not convinced that this was ovulation, however.  At my last appointment they drew blood in order to perform a test to check the reserves in my ovaries.  I was going to take next month off, but I would like to find out the results of that test so maybe I will go ahead and go in for my appointment and do another round.  I've been doing pretty good emotionally lately.  I'm not struggling nearly as much.  I bought a book called What He Can Expect When She's Not Expecting.  It was a good book.  As you can tell by the title it is really a book for Steve.  I was a fun read, quite humorous and I read the whole thing in a couple hours.  Steve has started it, though I'm not sure how far he has gotten.  The author was spot on with how infertile women feel.  He says that men want to have children, but women need to have children.  He referred to his wife as a mother without children.  This is how I feel.  He and his wife had twins through a surrogate.  He told the story about the whole journey complete with a "Wife Psycho Level" chart.  Anyway, once again, good book.  I recommend it. 

As for now it is another cycle down and we shall wait to see if a miracle has happened, though I won't hold my breath.  It is apparently just not our time yet.  I think soon, I will want to go off the drugs all together for a an extended period of time and leave it to fate.  This is not to say I won't go back on them, but I can't stay on these buggers forever and if it's not our time, no amount of drugs are going to get us there.

Terrible news

I heard the most awful news today.  A girl I work with left on maternity leave a month ago on doctors orders.  She was scheduled for a C-section today because the baby was past due.  The baby died!  I don't have all the details, but apparently Kennedy Elizabeth strangled in the womb.  I feel so much grief for Shellee.  Imagine carrying a baby all the way through past 40 weeks and losing her on her birthday.  This has me twisted to say the least.  All I can do it pray that God comforts her and remember that everything is for a reason, even if we can't understand the reason.

The most useless week of the month.

I'm on CD22 and waiting for AF to show so we can start all over again.  I can sense that she will be around before too long.  I think we will try another couple rounds of Femara, then I am going to ask the dr if we can do one more super dose of Clomid.  After that we are going to call it on the meds.  The next step would be intrauterine insemination (IUI), but we have decided that isn't for us.  Not only because we can't afford to go to a fertility specialist and have all that stuff done, but because we have decided that is too much manipulation of the body for us.  I'm not against it or anything and I know it has worked for many couples, it's just not for us.  We will try naturally for a while and hope something happens.  If by the time I am 30 we have no luck, we will look into adoption.  I really want my child to be Steve's though.  Even if it wasn't mine, I'd be ok with that!  LOL  I guess that since he is not an asexual being, that is not possible.  So, I guess we will wait and see what happens. 

Nope.

CD 13 and still negative OPK.  That means I won't ovulate on CD 14 or probably on CD 15.  After that, it's too late.  Another $72 doctor visit ahead, another $50+ trip to the pharmacy and another month of hoping and praying to come.  Some days are better than others.  Today is ok.  We will try again next month.  It will happen eventually, right?  I found an awesone facebook page.  999 reasons to laugh at infertility.  It is keeping me sane for now. 

Femara Round 1

Friday, I went to see Dr. Finazzo.  He gave me the choice of doing another unusually high dose of Clomid or moving on to Femara.  Clomid was just not doing anything even at 150mg.  I opted to go with Femara which I found out is actually a med used to treat breast cancer but causes ovulation as a side effect.  I went through all 5 doses without a single hot flash.  I was having hot flashes often on Clomid.  I have begun using my digital OPK and I'm optimistic, though not overly hopeful for this month.  The good news about Femara is that I don't just get 6 doses.  If this makes me ovulate but we don't conceive, we can keep trying.  Fingers crossed.

In other news, we had a bad day Friday.  After work, Steve dropped off the ZX2 at a shop to have the front end looked at.  We went down to Amigo's in the Vibe and when we left the engine shut off as soon as we pulled out in to the road.  Steve managed to get us in to a parking lot.  Long story short, we had to call a tow truck ($107 plus a $10 tip for driving us home after dropping the Vibe at the shop).  Saturday, I had to bum a ride to and from a heavy freight meeting at work.  When I got home we walked 2 miles to the shop.  The computer in the Vibe was fried and would take till Monday.  The ZX2 was waiting on parts.  We walked the 2 miles back home.  When the ZX2 was done, we rollerbladed up to get it.  The Vibe still wasn't fixed on Monday. They needed to order a different computer for it.  I'm hoping to get it back by Friday.  Luckily Steve put aside $1000 for an emergency.  We've spent almost all of it on his fiasco.  We still have the 4-door Escort in the garage that needs to be fixed.  So, Saturday we were down 3 cars.  That is ridiculous!

Sunday, I overheard Steve tell his brother that he wasn't going to play softball this year.  I'm glad.  I want my Friday night back and because I just don't like how his dad sticks him out in right field so he can just stand there and watch the game.  I asked Steve why he wasn't playing.  He said he was sick of being stuck out in the outfield, hat he is an in-fielder and it's bullshit that Jimmy, Jeff and even Bush got to play infield last year.  He is right.  It is bullshit.  Well, someone else can get stuck out there this year while Steve and I enjoy date nights.  Another reason we are both glad he isn't playing is having to go to the stupid bar that sponsors the team.  I can't wait to be able to enjoy a wait to enjoy my summer this year!