Femara Round 2

Well I am at CD 16 and though the OPKs were all negative, my temperature was up .2 degrees today.  I am not convinced that this was ovulation, however.  At my last appointment they drew blood in order to perform a test to check the reserves in my ovaries.  I was going to take next month off, but I would like to find out the results of that test so maybe I will go ahead and go in for my appointment and do another round.  I've been doing pretty good emotionally lately.  I'm not struggling nearly as much.  I bought a book called What He Can Expect When She's Not Expecting.  It was a good book.  As you can tell by the title it is really a book for Steve.  I was a fun read, quite humorous and I read the whole thing in a couple hours.  Steve has started it, though I'm not sure how far he has gotten.  The author was spot on with how infertile women feel.  He says that men want to have children, but women need to have children.  He referred to his wife as a mother without children.  This is how I feel.  He and his wife had twins through a surrogate.  He told the story about the whole journey complete with a "Wife Psycho Level" chart.  Anyway, once again, good book.  I recommend it. 

As for now it is another cycle down and we shall wait to see if a miracle has happened, though I won't hold my breath.  It is apparently just not our time yet.  I think soon, I will want to go off the drugs all together for a an extended period of time and leave it to fate.  This is not to say I won't go back on them, but I can't stay on these buggers forever and if it's not our time, no amount of drugs are going to get us there.

Terrible news

I heard the most awful news today.  A girl I work with left on maternity leave a month ago on doctors orders.  She was scheduled for a C-section today because the baby was past due.  The baby died!  I don't have all the details, but apparently Kennedy Elizabeth strangled in the womb.  I feel so much grief for Shellee.  Imagine carrying a baby all the way through past 40 weeks and losing her on her birthday.  This has me twisted to say the least.  All I can do it pray that God comforts her and remember that everything is for a reason, even if we can't understand the reason.

The most useless week of the month.

I'm on CD22 and waiting for AF to show so we can start all over again.  I can sense that she will be around before too long.  I think we will try another couple rounds of Femara, then I am going to ask the dr if we can do one more super dose of Clomid.  After that we are going to call it on the meds.  The next step would be intrauterine insemination (IUI), but we have decided that isn't for us.  Not only because we can't afford to go to a fertility specialist and have all that stuff done, but because we have decided that is too much manipulation of the body for us.  I'm not against it or anything and I know it has worked for many couples, it's just not for us.  We will try naturally for a while and hope something happens.  If by the time I am 30 we have no luck, we will look into adoption.  I really want my child to be Steve's though.  Even if it wasn't mine, I'd be ok with that!  LOL  I guess that since he is not an asexual being, that is not possible.  So, I guess we will wait and see what happens.